How to treat your fans- 101

First I want to thank Mark for his help when I was fuming and struggling with what to write on this blog without making everyone angry or stirring a pot that has already overflowed and burned to the ground.

Right- now for class, students...and believe me, I'm no expert but that has never stopped me from standing in front of a crowd and giving a lecture. (sometimes making myself a fool, but what can ya do?)

Lesson 1- Like your fans-
Sounds like a no brainer. But there are ways to show your fans you like them. For example. Thank them. They are why you are here. Without them, you'd be flipping burgers.

Lesson 2- Answer your emails from you fans-
Don't ignore anyone. Just how busy are you that you can say, thanks for emailing me. I write, publish and promote a book a month yet I can still say, thank you.

Lesson 3- Give your greatest fans free things-
Look, if someone has every book you've written, give them the next one free. Really? Can't manage to send out a book or efile to show your appreciation? Why the hell not?

Lesson 4- Be true to your fans-
Tell them who you are. Don't deceive. Okay, this one Mark warned me about. But I had to say it.

Lesson 5- Your fans are intelligent people! They read for cryin out loud! Don't bore the snot out of them with the same crappy story of man meets man, man parts from man, man finds his way back to man. Come on, people. Think out of the box. Okay, my novels may not be for everyone, and like I said I am no expert, but go where no one has gone. If your novels can be cut and pasted on someone else's with only the character names changed? You write boring romance novels.

Lesson- 6- Have a sense of humor.
Laugh at yourself. So what? You messed up and had a cell phone appear in a victorian bodice ripper, oops. Have a chuckle about it. Don't take yourself too seriously.

Lesson 7-Don't sweat the crappy reviews and critics-
Most are disgruntled authors who haven't even read your book, ignore them. And never get into a pissing match.

I think these lessons above can help any author gain respect from their fans. No one is an island. Our readers need us to make them laugh, cry, or fuck like bunnies, and we need them to earn a living. So treat your fans with respect and you will live long and prosper. (Yeah, so what? Nothing wrong with science fiction.)

Be safe-

(How did I do, Mark?)
(Just fine, Ms Hauser...just fine.)