Backing The Wrong Horse

Mistakes in life are many.

We've all made a few.

I've made 'a few'...uh hum-cough- several.
Heck, none of us are perfect or can predict five minutes ahead of ourselves. So making mistakes is very normal...that is, when they are done with good intent and a pure heart.

Errs that occur out of sheer accidents or misunderstandings are natural, and forgivable. I mean, everyone needs a break. So when they say, "Oops! screwed up. I'm sorry." We smile and say, "You got it. No problem," and forgive.

But there is another kind of mistake that takes on a bit of a bitterness...dare I say, nastiness?

Here's an example;

Let's say you are at the office water cooler, you know, that cliche spot all the employees hang around for gossip...there you are in your crisp business attire, coffee in hand, leaning on the counter to hear what the hub-bub is about. Normal so far?
Okay, you hear a rumor...something as simple as...'Oh! Did you know so-and-so forgot her keys at home? But really flushed them down the toilet and doesn't want anyone to know?'
Harmless... Still with me? So you may laugh and repeat the story to another employee just for a silly chuckle.

But-What if you hear something more sinister? Like so-and-so is taking over the planet, owns a space laser blaster gun and is planning on driving a tank through main street shooting it?

You pause to consider the possibilities. Unlikely, you think, but heck, everyone around the water cooler thinks so-and-so is capable. Okay. I'll buy it!
You then perpetuate the prevailing gossip that an individual you all know (snicker) is going to do something really bad to many people.

You partake in the verbal witch hunt, add wood to the pyre, isolate that individual, spread more manure around for good measure, because, after all, it sounded right at the time. And its good fun to be part of a group of people who hate!

But-- what if you were wrong?
What if that so-and-so actually just donated a new wing to the children's hospital and is going to throw a benefit party in honor of the achievement. But you're not invited. No. You backed the wrong horse.

Okay, the above story is an exaggeration of course, but making a mistake like that? Adding venom to words that have no basis in reality, simply because of a lynch mob mentality?

Oh, honey, very foolish indeed.
Over and over again I write bogs about karma, being kind, treating others with respect, giving others the benefit of the doubt, or simply when there is doubt, ask.

Life is a funny thing. When you fuck with people and royally hurt them? It's tough to ask for favors or kindness back. Least of all gain an ally or reference.

Backing the wrong horse. Be very careful when you become complicit in someone else's harm. VERY CAREFUL INDEED. Because some mistakes cause so much damage you would have to be indeed 'divine' to forgive them.

Be safe out there, and be nice to each other!!! fer cryin' out loud!
It ain't that hard, people!!!

The Blanking Game

I don't use this blog to rant...err too much. Mostly to discuss ways to treat your fans well, to be kind, to rewind...no...never mind.

But lately I've a huge pet peeve.

BLANKING

Look, I know how busy everyone is. I do. But if I can write a book a month, produce a movie, promote my work, create covers, write blurbs, keep up with fan emails, eat, cook, clean, function as a human being, then what excuse do people have to BLANK anyone?

Why not say, "Well, I would love to do that project for you, but I'm really busy right now, so no thanks."
Instead, individuals who agree to do projects, with payment, say, "Yes! I'd love to!" and then vanish.

I do realize things get hectic and you can be delayed. No biggie. Just email and say, "Hey- got busy! Am delayed!"

In this age of instant messages, and emails, where you don't even have to pick up a phone, (God forbid someone calls someone else to exchange info) you can take two seconds and write, "I'm here! I am still interested but give me a week."

When someone who is hired to work for another individual, accepts the project and them simply vanishes, is that acceptable to anyone?

Maybe my expectations are too high and I think people are reactive to others' time and feelings. Silly me. I suppose the amount of people who actually do care and take a minute to say, "Oops, meant to email you but couldn't because...." are few.

I have been very lucky in my working career as a writer. I have had and still have, some extremely reliable resources who ALWAYS come through. I consider them as consummate professionals, and respect the heck out of them and recommend them to everyone for their high work ethic.

Good business like good human contact is really not that tough. Just information, communication and understanding.

You simply have to let a person know what's going on. That's all I have ever asked of anyone I do business with. Just let me know. Once I know...well, I know.

But to BLANK? That's simply bad business and that type of behavior will eventually become common knowledge. I respect everyone's time, I really do. And if you cannot do something, or are delayed. I get it. Not everyone is a workaholic like me and does things the minute they are laid on my desk. So I don't expect the same. (Though when it happens I am very grateful!)

So, here's my two cents worth about THE BLANKING GAME. Don't come to me for favors after you do it. I simply will vanish into thin air. (Like you have done to me)
And life is funny that way. Just because you don't need me or my resources now, does not mean you may not in the future. And I've come from a line of Hauser's with memories like elephants. We never forget.

Be good to each other. It's not that hard.

Be safe out there too.

An Author's Eye View of the World

With the upcoming presidential campaign...blah, no I am not talking about it here. I know everyone is sick to death of it no matter which side of the spectrum your beliefs find you, but being someone with a voice, be it small or large, gives a writer the opportunity to state one's view.

Without a doubt those of us who write Man-Love are open to same sex couples, so again, not too much to discuss as far as anything new there.

I read a T-shirt once, it said, 'Be Careful Or You'll End Up In My Novel'.
Don't recall whose quote it is, or even if it's accurate, but in reality, how true! The adage write what you know has many angles. Of course writing about work, locales, hobbies that you know well makes writing more simplified. Guess work doesn't cut it for most of us, and we, or I should speak for myself, interview or research as best as I can to get accurate, but that even sometimes isn't enough.

But an author's opinion????
Well! open the floodgates!

There is no shortage of opinion or points of view, and I'm not talking first person here, I mean, what us authors think about things.
I know if I'm angry, my characters become very pissed off. Oh, don't get them started! They will rant and rave. When days are good, comedy is present.

Is this normal? Ask an author. Authors aren't normal. We have so many creatures living in our heads who take over during writing time, we can't be responsible for their actions.

Or can we?

Look, we are lucky to have an avenue to vent. Very lucky. I mean, everyone can. 'Dear Diary...today I was treated like a piece of shit because that's how some days go.'

But someone who writes for a living, whether it's for non-fiction journalism or my genre, silly erotica and fun and games, authors get to air their stuff. I think many readers understand this. Not only are they getting to know the characters and story, they certainly are understanding the mind behind the work. I know my fans do. They know me so dang well, I feel as if they've been hanging around near my computer for years. And some of course are my closest friends. That's the best part. Fans who become good friends. A lovely perk!

But...let an author warn you. If you are not a warm and fuzzy individual? Sorry, babe, you too will be in the books. Oh my yes. The assholes, my villains, the people my readers love to hate. Yup. You're there. Of course you may not recognize yourself. Most people who are nasty are narcissists and can't see past their own egos and everything is about them. You know them, I know them. We all know them.

So a few of us with a voice, take an Author's Eye View of our own little petty world. I don't need to vent in public forums, argue with people because we don't agree, react to things written about me...nope no need at all. Luckily I believe in karma and she has been so kind to me, I love her. I try to be good, give when I can, offer advice, try not to speak badly behind people's backs, and know everyone has their own story and should be handled tenderly. You don't know what that person has been through. They may be grieving for all you know. So don't get all nasty behind people's backs. You know nothing of their lives.

Except!! if you accept poison or venom as fact. Just watch The Daily Show to see how 'facts' are really 'Bull-cough-shit' and not facts at all. But skewed views that are said over and over again by enough pinheads to make anyone believe anything... without asking! or checking if it is indeed pure fact, not vindictive fiction.

Where the heck am I going with this? Oh yes. An Author's View. Well, my dears, whether I love you for being my closest ally, or loathe you for ripping me to shreds behind my back, you are indeed a star. You are in all my novels and you will be there in each one. Because us writers? Yeah us? We write WHO we know as well as WHAT we know. I may not kill you off, but I will certainly let you know what I think of you, and that includes the people I love.

Wanna know what a writer thinks about you? Read their stories!

And don't behave like a nasty piece of crap for no reason. Everyone tries as hard as they can in the moment they are in. So believe the best in people, not the worst.

Be safe out there.