As the year comes to a close-

Another Year Goes Away-
During the last few weeks of the year many of us become reflective of the last twelve months.

What have we done? Have we achieved our goals? Made new friends? Lost loved ones? Fought battles and won or lost?
The media recalls names of celebrities who passed away, shows the year in photos to see our world's greatest and worst moments.

It's only natural as the 'New Year' of our lives comes close enough to touch we think about what lies ahead or what we have done with the 365 days we just had. Could we have improved on any of our decisions? Tried any harder?

Perhaps writers, poets, and artists are more susceptible to nostalgia. Maybe we are true romantics at heart who strive for the ideal, the true love, the perfect home, the dream job. I know I am very ambitious and have goals firmly in place in my mind. A book a month. A feature film. Can I continue this into the next year? It won't be for lack of trying.

Will our vote in the 2012 election make a difference, or will our lifestyle forever not only impact us but generations to come.

Will we appreciate our loved ones more because of those we lost that were dear to us? Or will we live the same year over and over again?

As you pass through the last few weeks of December, think about who you are and what you want to do with your life for the next year. Because inevitably you will once again be looking another year in the face.
Will you be kind and give to the people in your life, treat associates and strangers with humanity? Or will you take out all of your anger and frustration on others, simply because you can't control your rage and hate?

Life is about choices, luck, fate, and maybe just an ounce of wisdom tossed in for good measure.
Personally, I'll be happy if I keep moving down the path I have chosen. I have no past regrets and a future filled with new fantasies to write, produce movies, make new fans and find adventures ahead that are unimaginable.
Like Jim Morrison said, "Did you have a good world when you died? -enough to base a movie on?”

If not, time to let go of the past, the anger, the jealousy, and start living again.
January 1st 2013...a new beginning, or a life poorly lived. You decide.

Live for today. Love unconditionally, and never give up. Who knows what the future brings. But for those of you who have lost loved ones, live for now. Give with your heart. Don't spread venom and hatred out of jealousy or spite. Trust that if you help others, your tiny contribution shall have a butterfly wing effect.

Be safe, be wise, and be creative.

The only way to make sure it will never happen, is by waiting forever...

The Belly of the Beast

I am sure this time of year many of you feel exhausted trying to keep up with work, the holidays the family, everything you have taken on, and more.

I too, am weary from all the work and extras that come with this time of year, and of course, writing, and trying to produce a film as well.

But I know many of you can relate to yet one more thing...morons?

You know them, all of you do.

You know it takes a special kind of moron to think of you so much, they spend all their time trying to find ways to effect you. Those are the kind that puzzle me the most. I assume when someone continually is thinking of ways to discredit me, then perhaps I have influenced their lives so much so, that I am all they think about. Hmm, how nice. It's like love, isn't it? Having a person OCD over everything you do or say? Having them constantly work on ways to contact you, make a difference in your life?

Yes, true devotion. What can I say, but to wonder just how powerful I am?
How can little me have such a dramatic influence on someone that I become their full time job? I know many of you know what I mean. Me? I let anger go. Life is too short, and I have too many things to do. But some people come from the belly of the beast, and the fire in them to destroy is overwhelming. Watch the news if you think I'm joking. People really dwell inside their heads too much, and crave to be important, vital, and hate to be forgotten, trivialized. So some will make you remember them, daily, perhaps, just so they feel they aren't simply forgettable.

Life is filled with irony. I try to help people tolerate others, be kind, let go of their ill-temper or misguided thoughts, and move on. Live, laugh.

Yet, not everyone can. Some individuals get off, quite literally, on hatred. Anger. Revenge. It's a sick way to live and I feel pity for anyone who creates this type of full time job for themselves, when they can simply, let go.

I let go of a lot of things in my life, and feel better for it. Life is short, life is not meant to constantly reach out with toxic venom and make others miserable, because, you are only making yourself miserable.

That's the funny thing about life. Control. And some people simply crave it to death, and don't have it. And the more you yearn control over something or someone, the less you will have it.

Remember how toxic hate and vengeance are. They will make you sick- truly. So to all the tyrants out there, who happen to be a mere 5' 6" of little man, be happy, move on, and don't let life become a series of ulcer causing mistakes. No one can control me, or my work. Only I can.

That's a lesson each of us should learn. You can only change/control yourself, so when you stop trying to battle the world, only then can you feel free and happy.

Be safe out there. Because life is full of beasts.

Step by Step: the making of CAPITAL GAMES THE MOVIE- Part 12

For those of you who have been following my blog on the making of CAPITAL GAMES THE MOVIE here's my next chapter....


What a process this is, by the way. Any of you wish to make a film out of your own novel, let me tell you, get ready for the ride of your life. It takes so may twists and turns it will be an adventure you will never forget. Both good and bad, by the way.

But sometimes when you've been through hell and back, life once again brings you angels. What I struggled with during production has turned full circle to an amazing few people in post production who made up for all the egos and bullshit. Like a bizzaro world where you are dealing with the exact opposite of what you had been. (Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode, but I digress)

My editor. My post production supervisor. My composer. My song writer and recorder. What would I do without them?

Sometimes fate brings together an amazing group of people and sometimes it does not. In my case, in post production, it has. Katiene Norton. If you don't know who she is, look her up on IMBd. She's amazing. An Emmy winner!! A woman with so much drive and talent in her field, I am thrilled to be sitting beside her as she works her magic on the keyboard of the computer like a concert pianist. Her kindness, her intelligence, and her guidance has brought me to where I am now. A trailer- so incredible- I can't believe it's for my film, and a movie so close to lock down, we are getting giddy.

Take a peek at the movie trailer if you haven't already:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gm-lfCv9Wk&list=UL

I thought this trailer would be easy, you know, a little cut and paste. Oh hell no. It was a whole day of finding audio clips, making things mesh, special effects, figuring out taglines. Nothing about this industry is easy except sitting in the audience and watching it.

The next step is showing the film on a full sized cinema screen so we can catch anything that we can't see on the computer we are editing on. A big screen. Like in- a REAL movie. I can't imagine what this film will look like LARGE. The few who are invited will be helping me critique, correct, and get it perfect. Or as perfect as this low budget film can be. Are there mistakes? Yeah, I see them. I just hope the quality of the cinematography and acting will blow you all away, and keep the nit-pickers at bay.

I also hope to get this complete- locked and loaded by the end of the year, and if you people can't feel 2013 breathing down your neck, let me tell you, it is. There are so many festivals to send it out to, we are missing many deadlines already. But both Katiene and I want this to be the best it can be. So instead of rushing it, making it available for festivals before it's time, we are slowing down and doing it right. The helicopter footage, well, that was certainly worth the wait. You'll be flying high over LA with me. So, yes, I want it now, and all my fans want it now. Believe me. It's hard making it better and better, when we could just throw it out there and get it done.

Which festival will be the first one to premiere this film? No idea. I could end up flying to Paris or Amsterdam for it. But it will be as good as it can get for all my fans. That's my promise to you. Step by step, this film is getting closer, and when you crave to see a peek, need to admire Mark and Steve and Jack? Click my YouTube link and enjoy.

I'm running as fast as I can for all of you, and I hope it will be up to your expectations.


Be safe out there.

The Sound of Music- continued

The Making of CAPITAL GAMES THE MOVIE part 11


Trying to get music from the record companies was slightly south of oral surgery. Though most were completely awesome and open minded to my genre of film, one was not. I don't want to mention which one...cough- starts with a U- but they had an issue with the rating....rating? There are no ratings for films in festival or DVDs. But their threat of not allowing their music for an NC-17, was enough to put me off THEM! Adult content? Of course there is adult content. It's a gay romance. And they swear! ooohhhh, heavens no!

Yet we know when a door closes a window opens.
Original music.
Yup. Guess what boys and girls, your writer, EP, chief cook and bottle-washer, has become a music lyricist. I have penned two original songs for my film. Isn't it hard to believe writing and creating my own work would be easier than dragging song rights from big mega music corporations?

Again Karma has smiled on me. She gave me an Emmy award winning editor, who has a brother....well, to say the least, this man has more musical talent in his pinky finger than anyone I have met via phone in the music industry's biased decision making process.

Not only has he used my lyrics which make the scenes make sense, he created songs throughout the production that give my film a completely unique original music score.

Studio Lg Produçoes...

They are as thrilled to be contributing to this film as I am to have the talent they are providing.

Original music, sung and played beautifully, and two songs written by yours truly.

I'm sorry, people, it doesn't get any better than this.

I hope when you all see the finished product you are as impressed with the music from Studio Lg Produçoes as I am.

When will you see it done, you ask?
Still in edits, hoping to lock it down by December, and then? Hopefully our first international film festival by spring.

The trailer with one of the original songs will be made next week- but with the coming holidays, things do tend to slow. But you know the minute I have it, I will post it for all of you.

Be safe out there.

The Making of CAPITAL GAMES the Movie- the sound of post production music

Music? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Music-


Well, more lessons to be learned from attaining music rights for my film. And oh, what amazingly hard lessons they are.

4 songs. One, two, three, four.
Doesn't sound like too big of a deal, does it?

Simple, just email someone and get the rights.

HA!! wrong!

Okay, here we go boys and girls for your first music lesson.

Synch rights, publishing rights...know the difference? Yeah neither did I two days ago.

Who owns what? More fun! Get this, Sony owns 55% Universal? 15% Chrysalis? 30% each wants a piece of the pie.
Then, get this, they have a Most Favored Nations clause. Silly? Sounds like something for the UN? Well, this means whomever charges the most for the song? They want THAT percentage. So you must pay to the highest fee.

Still confused? Keep going.
You have to send completed forms, film clips where the song is used, hope they are wonderful and 'approved' by the powers that be. Well, this is a gay romance, so I have my doubts as to whether I will get the approval. Sometimes I get lucky because the contacts are certainly helpful over the phone, so helpful I got five people emailing me about one song from one company. So it became a musical chairs game of who was going to be stuck with me and my low budget project.

THEN!!! There is one cost for non-profit film festival and hey!! like the song that much? just slap 10 grand on the counter and it's yours for your DVD. One song. 10% of one song.

Okay, so, my conclusions? We like really good songs. So, my answer? We either win the lotto and buy them, or find really less popular music to do the job. Well, that sucks all the way around. So, we shall see with my book sales just how fancy this music for CAPITAL GAMES will be. My choice was low budget and easy, but of course the director wants to get only the best. Though I understand, the budget is just not there.

So, music. Makes or breaks a scene, believe me, I know. Maybe I should sit with my hat held out at the corner of the food stores and beg for change. Seriously. Making the movie with the right songs? Priceless.
Hat in hand for contributions? Necessary-
I'm about 75% into this song attaining mess, and still have more forms, more songs to send, and more questions to ask.

Music? We don't need no stinkin' music.
Errr, got news for you. We do.
Wish me luck. I will soon be the expert you all can contact to get through this rats maze...

Be safe out there.

Play your music, you need to enjoy it while you can.

The Power of Film (and books)

Well!

I am speechless.
No, I'm not really. I'm writing a blog. But it's a cliche expression for someone who has just been knocked silly by an event.

I had my good friend Micheal come by to see my movie DVD as is to date. A real rough cut that is mostly just the scenes in order as they should be. A string of messy cuts, without sound edits, some music, overlapping noise, a project in so much need of work, but still, there it is. The story of CAPITAL GAMES the film.

And guess what?
He cried.
No he didn't cry because it was so horrible to believe. (I know some of you think that, ha!) No. He cried from emotion from the power of the film.

Color me stunned!

As an author, many of us who write for a living or write for fun, get so immersed into our world, we can't see it any longer. That's why many of us have Beta readers, editors, the works, to help an author SEE what we are doing.

I used Michael as my Beta 'viewer'. I didn't know what a Beta reader even was when I first heard about it, but a Beta reader reads an author's draft to give fresh insight. Or at least this is what I've been led to believe. Kind of a first screening of your book. (If I'm wrong, I apologize) I don't use one for writing. I send it to my fab editor and she corrects it and returns it. Job done.

But filming, well, this has become a different animal to me. Being my first feature film based on CAPITAL GAMES my novel, which now is nearly 6 years old, (if you count the first printing) and the beginning of where Steve Miller meets the tantalizing Mark Antonious Richfield. I am so immersed in it, know the book so well, that I was slightly terrified to see what Michael would think of this rough cut.

He knows all my work, and Capital Games the novel, by heart.

Okay, he is a great friend, so I didn't expect him to scowl at me and say, "What a crock of shit." Though he could have. He cried. Oh my Lord, he grabbed a tissue and cried at the end. Wow. The power of film!
He told me I 'nailed' all three leads. Steven Jay Miller, my ex LAPD cop, Mark Richfield, my British snob, and Jack Larsen, Mark's best buddy and gay lawyer roommate.

I had no idea Micheal would feel that way, since the actors didn't fit perfectly to what the novel descriptions were. But, holy crap. He was floored at how well the three characters came across on film, which he felt did the same in my Action! Series.

I fully expect most of the film-goers will not have read my work. But seeing someone like Michael, who knows my men from the Action! Series inside and out (no, really, inside and out) I was very happy indeed.

How did I find three men who were my boys? Well, I did. The three lead actors who played Mark, Steve, and Jack, were my characters come to life for Michael.

Though I could not hold true to every aspect of the novel, I seem to have held onto enough that he was overjoyed and shouting, "I remember that from the book!"

It thrilled me. Because you all know I want both my avid fans and those who have no clue who the heck I am, to really get this film.

Perhaps they will. The fact that Michael cried? Grew so emotional at the ending, got it completely through and through, told ME what I said in the film to get across to the viewer that 'Love is Love is Love is Love' no matter the sex or color.... well.

The power of films. You know and I know, they can make you laugh, cry, or walk out disgusted. Michael laughed and cried, but didn't seem bored or disgusted.

A good friend, you may say, will not tell me the truth.
Well, you don't know Michael. Yes, he would. He'd raise an eyebrow and give me 'a look'. He didn't. He cried!

So, first of all, thank you, Michael, for seeing this rough edit, and reassuring me, all my work is not in vain, and a huge thank you, to the cast and crew of this film, and especially the top three men who made this movie so damn emotional, it made my friend cry.

You are all my heroes.
The power of film.
Who knew??

Be safe out there....

*Capital Games is still in the edit stage. So follow this blog or my Facebook page and you will know when the film is being premiered in LGBT and Indie film festivals.

'WHO' You Are, Not Who You Are.

We live in a world made up of so much diversity and culture; classes are taught about it, research is done to see if we all come from a common ancestry, and individuals spend their lives traveling to seek out exotic locales on this blue marble we call earth.

We come in all different colors, sizes, shapes. Speak different languages, pray to various gods, or goddesses, (or no gods at all). We cook with a variety of spices, some like it hot, others not. Mores of some religions forbid some food choices, while humane concerns limit others. We are teachers, builders, business owners, IT techs, cooks, cleaners, mechanics...

Who are we as individual people? We come from our parents, whatever color, genes, characteristics become the combination of DNA and magic that creates a unique entity- as unique as a fingerprint. That's us.

Some of us have very strong beliefs, enough to kill or die for, others more moderate soft on issues of politics and religion, happy to sit on a couch and be a potato. The span from one end of the spectrum to the other is so extreme it can only be marveled and studied by greater minds than my own.

Coming from a liberal upbringing my becoming a cop shocked my parents. Perhaps police officers have a reputation as slightly leaning to the right of ideals. But there I was, in a blue Seattle Police uniform...the art student from FIT college in NYC toting a big gun and bright badge.

Who on earth was I? On one side of me is the pacifist, the artist, the environmentalist, yet I agree with the death penalty, (especially if you murder a cop) and gun ownership, though limited to things that are not WMDs! I am not an advocate of welfare and unemployment for life, but for help, to get someone on their feet, and I am very much a supporter of the gay community, human rights, and animal rights.
My fellow cops kept waiting for me to spontaneously combust because who I was didn't exactly fit their 'standard'.

But aren't we all gradating shades from right and left in some ways? The person who appears to be into social injustice, wears Birkenstocks and socks and tie-dyed T-shirts, may support far right wing hate groups. We simply can't be categorized by stereo-types and generalizations. And shouldn't be.

But who we are as a combination of ideas and concepts of life as we think it should be or dream it can be, is not WHO we are.

I mean WHO we are when we look into the mirror and decide what kind of human being we have become. Are we the sort of individual that contributes to society, does no harm, stops to help a frail victim, cries for our fallen soldiers? WHO are we as the one on one personal contact you meet in freeway traffic- do you allow someone in your lane? Or do you flip them off and speed up to block their path?

WHO are you in a way that makes you connect with others who are like you, or not like you?
We are all made up of a million variations of culture, concepts of right and wrong ideology, and just plain old 'star stuff', to quote the brilliance of the late genius Carl Sagan.

But remember, there's a difference between who we are as it reveals 'what all of our past experiences have made us into today'- pleasant or bitter- and who we are as that combination of DNA, nature and nurture.

Go on, look in the mirror...ask yourself sometimes, "Who am I?" It's a hard question to answer.

But if you see a good person looking back at you, then you are wonderful and have done just fine. No matter where our journey began or where it has brought us to the present, how has it made you behave to others now? Everyone has a story. Everyone has a journey ahead. Who is the person you will be tomorrow?

Be safe out there.

Backing The Wrong Horse

Mistakes in life are many.

We've all made a few.

I've made 'a few'...uh hum-cough- several.
Heck, none of us are perfect or can predict five minutes ahead of ourselves. So making mistakes is very normal...that is, when they are done with good intent and a pure heart.

Errs that occur out of sheer accidents or misunderstandings are natural, and forgivable. I mean, everyone needs a break. So when they say, "Oops! screwed up. I'm sorry." We smile and say, "You got it. No problem," and forgive.

But there is another kind of mistake that takes on a bit of a bitterness...dare I say, nastiness?

Here's an example;

Let's say you are at the office water cooler, you know, that cliche spot all the employees hang around for gossip...there you are in your crisp business attire, coffee in hand, leaning on the counter to hear what the hub-bub is about. Normal so far?
Okay, you hear a rumor...something as simple as...'Oh! Did you know so-and-so forgot her keys at home? But really flushed them down the toilet and doesn't want anyone to know?'
Harmless... Still with me? So you may laugh and repeat the story to another employee just for a silly chuckle.

But-What if you hear something more sinister? Like so-and-so is taking over the planet, owns a space laser blaster gun and is planning on driving a tank through main street shooting it?

You pause to consider the possibilities. Unlikely, you think, but heck, everyone around the water cooler thinks so-and-so is capable. Okay. I'll buy it!
You then perpetuate the prevailing gossip that an individual you all know (snicker) is going to do something really bad to many people.

You partake in the verbal witch hunt, add wood to the pyre, isolate that individual, spread more manure around for good measure, because, after all, it sounded right at the time. And its good fun to be part of a group of people who hate!

But-- what if you were wrong?
What if that so-and-so actually just donated a new wing to the children's hospital and is going to throw a benefit party in honor of the achievement. But you're not invited. No. You backed the wrong horse.

Okay, the above story is an exaggeration of course, but making a mistake like that? Adding venom to words that have no basis in reality, simply because of a lynch mob mentality?

Oh, honey, very foolish indeed.
Over and over again I write bogs about karma, being kind, treating others with respect, giving others the benefit of the doubt, or simply when there is doubt, ask.

Life is a funny thing. When you fuck with people and royally hurt them? It's tough to ask for favors or kindness back. Least of all gain an ally or reference.

Backing the wrong horse. Be very careful when you become complicit in someone else's harm. VERY CAREFUL INDEED. Because some mistakes cause so much damage you would have to be indeed 'divine' to forgive them.

Be safe out there, and be nice to each other!!! fer cryin' out loud!
It ain't that hard, people!!!

The Blanking Game

I don't use this blog to rant...err too much. Mostly to discuss ways to treat your fans well, to be kind, to rewind...no...never mind.

But lately I've a huge pet peeve.

BLANKING

Look, I know how busy everyone is. I do. But if I can write a book a month, produce a movie, promote my work, create covers, write blurbs, keep up with fan emails, eat, cook, clean, function as a human being, then what excuse do people have to BLANK anyone?

Why not say, "Well, I would love to do that project for you, but I'm really busy right now, so no thanks."
Instead, individuals who agree to do projects, with payment, say, "Yes! I'd love to!" and then vanish.

I do realize things get hectic and you can be delayed. No biggie. Just email and say, "Hey- got busy! Am delayed!"

In this age of instant messages, and emails, where you don't even have to pick up a phone, (God forbid someone calls someone else to exchange info) you can take two seconds and write, "I'm here! I am still interested but give me a week."

When someone who is hired to work for another individual, accepts the project and them simply vanishes, is that acceptable to anyone?

Maybe my expectations are too high and I think people are reactive to others' time and feelings. Silly me. I suppose the amount of people who actually do care and take a minute to say, "Oops, meant to email you but couldn't because...." are few.

I have been very lucky in my working career as a writer. I have had and still have, some extremely reliable resources who ALWAYS come through. I consider them as consummate professionals, and respect the heck out of them and recommend them to everyone for their high work ethic.

Good business like good human contact is really not that tough. Just information, communication and understanding.

You simply have to let a person know what's going on. That's all I have ever asked of anyone I do business with. Just let me know. Once I know...well, I know.

But to BLANK? That's simply bad business and that type of behavior will eventually become common knowledge. I respect everyone's time, I really do. And if you cannot do something, or are delayed. I get it. Not everyone is a workaholic like me and does things the minute they are laid on my desk. So I don't expect the same. (Though when it happens I am very grateful!)

So, here's my two cents worth about THE BLANKING GAME. Don't come to me for favors after you do it. I simply will vanish into thin air. (Like you have done to me)
And life is funny that way. Just because you don't need me or my resources now, does not mean you may not in the future. And I've come from a line of Hauser's with memories like elephants. We never forget.

Be good to each other. It's not that hard.

Be safe out there too.

An Author's Eye View of the World

With the upcoming presidential campaign...blah, no I am not talking about it here. I know everyone is sick to death of it no matter which side of the spectrum your beliefs find you, but being someone with a voice, be it small or large, gives a writer the opportunity to state one's view.

Without a doubt those of us who write Man-Love are open to same sex couples, so again, not too much to discuss as far as anything new there.

I read a T-shirt once, it said, 'Be Careful Or You'll End Up In My Novel'.
Don't recall whose quote it is, or even if it's accurate, but in reality, how true! The adage write what you know has many angles. Of course writing about work, locales, hobbies that you know well makes writing more simplified. Guess work doesn't cut it for most of us, and we, or I should speak for myself, interview or research as best as I can to get accurate, but that even sometimes isn't enough.

But an author's opinion????
Well! open the floodgates!

There is no shortage of opinion or points of view, and I'm not talking first person here, I mean, what us authors think about things.
I know if I'm angry, my characters become very pissed off. Oh, don't get them started! They will rant and rave. When days are good, comedy is present.

Is this normal? Ask an author. Authors aren't normal. We have so many creatures living in our heads who take over during writing time, we can't be responsible for their actions.

Or can we?

Look, we are lucky to have an avenue to vent. Very lucky. I mean, everyone can. 'Dear Diary...today I was treated like a piece of shit because that's how some days go.'

But someone who writes for a living, whether it's for non-fiction journalism or my genre, silly erotica and fun and games, authors get to air their stuff. I think many readers understand this. Not only are they getting to know the characters and story, they certainly are understanding the mind behind the work. I know my fans do. They know me so dang well, I feel as if they've been hanging around near my computer for years. And some of course are my closest friends. That's the best part. Fans who become good friends. A lovely perk!

But...let an author warn you. If you are not a warm and fuzzy individual? Sorry, babe, you too will be in the books. Oh my yes. The assholes, my villains, the people my readers love to hate. Yup. You're there. Of course you may not recognize yourself. Most people who are nasty are narcissists and can't see past their own egos and everything is about them. You know them, I know them. We all know them.

So a few of us with a voice, take an Author's Eye View of our own little petty world. I don't need to vent in public forums, argue with people because we don't agree, react to things written about me...nope no need at all. Luckily I believe in karma and she has been so kind to me, I love her. I try to be good, give when I can, offer advice, try not to speak badly behind people's backs, and know everyone has their own story and should be handled tenderly. You don't know what that person has been through. They may be grieving for all you know. So don't get all nasty behind people's backs. You know nothing of their lives.

Except!! if you accept poison or venom as fact. Just watch The Daily Show to see how 'facts' are really 'Bull-cough-shit' and not facts at all. But skewed views that are said over and over again by enough pinheads to make anyone believe anything... without asking! or checking if it is indeed pure fact, not vindictive fiction.

Where the heck am I going with this? Oh yes. An Author's View. Well, my dears, whether I love you for being my closest ally, or loathe you for ripping me to shreds behind my back, you are indeed a star. You are in all my novels and you will be there in each one. Because us writers? Yeah us? We write WHO we know as well as WHAT we know. I may not kill you off, but I will certainly let you know what I think of you, and that includes the people I love.

Wanna know what a writer thinks about you? Read their stories!

And don't behave like a nasty piece of crap for no reason. Everyone tries as hard as they can in the moment they are in. So believe the best in people, not the worst.

Be safe out there.

Words of Wisdom- a post by Mark Antonious Richfield

Since Ms Hauser has been back from her exhausting sojourn into the realms of playing an Executive Producer for her film CAPITAL GAMES, she has asked me to write her blog in her stead.

Of course, I too am busy, as many of you know who follow me in her 'Tell All' books. With another new modeling contract in addition to Dangereux Cologne and working full time at Parsons and Company, I can barely breathe, let alone write. But for her, I shall make the effort.

Of course after accepting the offer to write this silly blog, I must come up with a topic. Well, to be honest, I've so many in my head, who knows where to bloody start?

But the ever hard working Ms Hauser has been busy on the next volume in her Action! series which you all know is about yours truly and the actors and other men who surround me. Some true blue, others, not so much.

Which brings me to my son, Alexander.
Alex at one point thought he had won the lottery, being cast for the hot vampire drama series, Being Screwed. And I too, was very pleased, though lately the director, Charlotte Deavers and the producers, have gone off their bleedin' heads.

As greed and ratings become paramount to the sexy vampire show, and the actors who have been newly cast show that they quite simply are spoilt brats who respect nothing and come with a sense of entitlement, I wonder how myself or Alexander manage to survive and come to where we are today.

If you ask Ms GA, she will tell you I did because of Valium and beer! Well, quite possibly. But in truth Alexander will manage as I have done, with some patience and a bit of moxie. Steven, my husband, and an ex-LAPD officer, always told me, if you are right-fight. And I think that's good advice.
For bloody sake, it simply stands to reason that individuals who are cruel, selfish and make life difficult in general shall be 'rewarded' when karma knocks them to their arse. I've seen it. Believe me when I tell you it is true.

So where am I going? Lost in my head, but that's for Dr Van Eldon, my psychiatrist and I to work out.

Inevitably, doing wrong will bite you in a not so pleasant place. Alexander has learned that lesson the hard way, and now he can watch the twenty-something prima donas who have been hired to act alongside him, show off, and make everyone's world and work an impossible task. Alex is no longer one of those difficult lads. He has matured, thank bloody hell! and he too can see what a nuisance the new talent is as they strut around and snap their fingers imagining everyone is there solely for the purpose of pleasing them. Keith O'Leary and Carl Bronson, from Forever Young have the same complaints. The new young actors simply don't get it. Don't work as a team.

Ahh, yes. Youth. You all know my struggles with (cough) aging. But I have to admit I have learned. I have learned, my lovelies, that ego is not a positive trait. That gossip and meanness can come back in terrible ways.
So my words of wisdom to my fans, and friends who give a shite about what I think...

Be kind. Think the best of people before you speak. Don't judge, for you, my pet, will BE judged. And for bloody sake, don't bite a hand that is feeding you. That simply does not stand to reason.

There. Here is my contribution to lighten the workload of a workhorse (yes, I am referring to GA). And now you are prepared for Book 12 of the Action! Series- Keeping it Up- which will be out in time for Christmas? I don't know.

Keeping what up? If I know Ms Hauser, it has a thing or two to do with the male anatomy. Or perhaps not. Perhaps this time she means, Keeping up being good- being kind, and loving those who love you.

(In the words of GA-) Be safe out there.

Yours Truly,
Mark Antonious Richfield

It's a Wrap!

The Making of Capital Games the Movie- Part 8

The shooting is done, the traveling behind me, and the catch up of writing and work begins.

Exhaustion is the word that comes to mind at the moment- and I know I am not the only one to feel this way. My director told me he is going to take a vacation for a week to recover. Good lord! We all need one!

I was warned how long the days were, how hard the schedule would be, and of course, never expected some of the drama, behind and in front of the camera. But according to my DP- Aussie Peter, this was all part of the game.

At the start of production, everyone was up and ready.
Mid-way, they began to sag.
By the end if felt as if we were running a marathon.

Kudos to all who fought to finish this to the end. It was such a long hard road, I had no idea how challenging the process could be.

But there it is. Done.
The camera has stopped whirring, the actors and crew are recovering and I am looking ahead to what comes next.

Edits.

In this age of computers there are no more 'reels' or celluloid. It's all on a hard drive. Precious little...err not so little, equipment. A hired staff of two were loading, correcting and managing to get the camera's vision onto a computer. Those two women worked hard to continue to download as we filmed. Two more amazing women I have never met! The hours they put in was nothing short of miraculous.

Those precious hard drives will make their journey north to an editor, who once again, I have been fortunate to find. She is a talented woman who will take the bits and pieces we shot and create the film.
Myself, the director and the editor will now have the challenge of selecting the shots to place in correct order, help splice, dice and fill in the blanks, of what will hopefully become my feature film.

So just as the production journey has ended, post-production will begin.
I am thrilled so far with the progress and with everyone's effort to finish this project.

Hearing, 'It's a wrap!' and being given the clapper board as a wonderful souvenir of the experience was the end...of filming.
But in reality, it's only the beginning of the next phase of the adventure. Edits.

And after that? Once it's done and dusted? Into the film festivals, with any luck.

What will the future hold?
No clue. But the past has been one hell of a learning curve and an experience I will never forget.

Move forward. Never give up. And never tell yourself it cannot be done.

There is no one stopping your success but you.

Be safe out there.

Learning To Fly!

The Making of Capital Games- Part 7

Complex.
Yup. That's how I would explain the art of film-making. Who knew? How many years have I watched a movie, a TV show, or even a 30 second commercial without a second thought? I think we all take for granted that we watch a movie or television show and everything falls into place as we see it.

Wow- my learning curve has just taken a quantum leap!

I've discussed the multiple takes- errors from crew, noise of planes, cars, dogs, all stopping filming until things quiet down. Sound- it's the biggest dilemma from air conditioning to refrigerators going on. 'Quiet on the set!' has taken on a whole new meaning. They mean reallllly quiet. Like in, hold your breath. That mike picks up a fly landing on a crumb.

Add to that our own shadows and reflections, our lights and screens and any number of poles, wires and objects used to light an area showing on the camera’s screen, and there goes the take.
When I see even this small scale production, behind the scenes, I can't imagine what big Hollywood mega-movies must go through to get one take. In our wedding scene we had not only seventy-five extras, but two young children as well- talk about hilarious! but also, they didn't understand the concept, so our director turned into a pre-school teacher, pointing, “Look at Daddy and smile!"

The stuff that went on, the 'out-takes' that may never get to be shared with the fans, were too hilarious to count. The stress, the long hours and seriously hard work, started to make the actors and crew punchy. And punchy means silly. It was time consuming and yes, meant more takes, but I was in tears I was laughing so hard. The puns came hard and fast.

Luckily I have a crew whose sense of humor matches my own. So the ex-cop got plenty of smiles from their antics.

And when the ice cream man passed during our outside shoot, you can imagine how many of my boys wanted a treat. "No. Not before dinner, young man," I scolded.

Along with the lighthearted silliness I do believe there has been some genuine learning for all. To many who came on this journey with me, it was a place to decide if this was the career for them. A place to do their first feature film. A springboard into what could be huge potential and great futures in the film industry. Everyone involved took that risk, that chance, that time, and the hard work to see if...
‘If’ Capital Games becomes a ground breaker, then it was all worth the effort. If not, it was one hell of an experience for everyone, including yours truly.

And how much did we learn? Too much to contain in one blog- skills, ego control, time saving devices, being flexible, and just managing to keep the project on track and moving to the finish line.

Ironic we have had the Olympics going on during this film project because we are going for the gold and it is a test of everyone's strength and endurance.

A big bravo to my cast and crew- They have far exceeded my expectations and I know they will do the same for my fans.

Learning to fly--
Oh, by the way....did you know actors 'fly' into the set? Like superheroes? Believe me. They are heroes to me.

Be safe out there.

So...Ya Wanna Be An Actor???

The Making of CAPITAL GAMES Part 6:

Why? Why would anyone on this planet want to be an actor?
I thought it was a wonderful glamorous adventure where everyone smiles, drinks champagne, goes to premieres and has parties rubbing elbows with the elite-

WRONG! (or maybe right, but not during shooting)

Good God!! These actors, and I mean everyone from my two pretty boys to the extras, are in boiling heat, coated in make-up and doing take after take, after take...all in their minds praying, "Say we don't have to do this scene again!!"

Lucky me- I sit watching a screen at 'video village' (Oh, yes, I'm getting all the lingo down- and it's like learning a foreign language) with headphones on my head and watch magic happen. Everyone else is going out of their minds getting it right. My heart goes out to each and every member of my spectacular cast and crew. They sat in a boiling hot conference room (nope- can't use A/C it screws up the sound) in suits and ties, sweating like they were American tourists in the Sahara, and God love them, they did a very complex scene again and again-
The reason for the retakes are so plentiful...even I can see a hit or misses now- technical mistakes, shadows, misplaced items, and of course flubbed lines.

Although I am filming the 'Making of Capital Games' as well- seeing the antics of the crew and actors, the hilarious puns, (since we are making a fun free-for-all with so many hidden messages I should make it a contest to find each pair of 'blue balls' or champagne bottles placed as if they were erect cocks. Oh dear- yes, it's that damn funny.

But the work these two leads are doing? They are in every scene- so they are the most amazing young men I have met to date-

Do the whole take again? Yes, they do it again, and remember long paragraphs of lines. Yes! Movement? Facial expressions? They do it all. I am overwhelmed and all I am doing is sitting and watching.

By the way- they did it to me, yes, they roped me into a cameo. You won't even see me- I hope. Kind of like Alfred Hitchcock, he is somewhere in his film lurking, like where's Waldo. Yes, I am in there- what can you do? They needed a body and luckily I was hidden so well you may never get to see me!!!
Let me tell all you boys and girls out there who dream of being an actor.
YOU'RE INSANE! But I love all of you!

Never give up- take after take-
NEVER GIVE UP! Because eventually the director says "CUT!" and you move on.

Be safe out there-

The Good, the Bad and the Downright Beautiful

The making of CAPITAL GAMES Part 5:

After ten days of shooting scenes from my novel Capital Games- I have to admit its the same learning curve I went through with the police academy- (No, really- I'm not kidding)

Cops wear every hat under the rainbow (pun intended in this case)- what I mean is- peace-maker- crime fighter- comforter- psychologist- you get the idea- Cops do it all.

Well, guess what?? So does an Executive Producer- or at least me. I have done everything on this set except direct and shoot the wonderful RED camera- which our simply unbelievable Aussie Cinematographer has with him. I have been the snack person, the litter picker-upper, the ladder holder, and even the EMT to take care of everything from splinters to major inuries. Good thing I am a first responder because let me tell ya- this is dangerous work. I kid you not. I make sure everyone is hydrated- because believe it or not Santa Fe is over six thousand feet above sea level and you can drink water all day and never piss a drop- (I know- too much information) So I spray sunblock, bug repellent, remind people to eat...you get the idea.

What a learning curve!
The set is the most remarkable hive of activity I have ever seen in my life- Make a film? Easy??? HELL NO!

But!!

Then those moments come. Oh boy do they ever!
My Mark- My Steven- Simply two of the most beautiful young men on the planet. When they shine no one remembers their blood,sweat and tears, they simply drop their jaws and shake their heads at each other and mouth 'WOW!'

My boys- Good god. They have made this movie so remarkable- simply by their talent, their good humor and their Adonis appeal. I could never have imagined two more beautiful men to play my biggest stars in my novels. They are beyond my expectations.

When this movie is complete- and my fans see my Mark Antonious Richfield, my Steven Jay Miller, and my Jack Charles Larsen their jaws will drop and their mouths will water-

The Good- Watching people put their heart and soul into making a full length feature film.
The Bad- All the pain and sweat that is accompanying the making a picture so intense.
and The Downright Beautiful. My three superstars.

I have no doubt my fans will be as enamored with my beautiful boys as my entire cast and crew are.

Be safe out there.

If You Make it They Will Come!

The making of Capital Games- Part 4

Well- I suppose the idea that Capital Games will be filmed- is now a reality-

There I was standing at a conference table with a group of people whose passion for film and a drive to make this bromance the best it can be were smiling and high-fiving around me. How I managed to get a crew and cast this spectacular is one part luck, one part timing, and the other ninety eight parts, a good Karma-


Being the writer has now become the easy part- because now that it is moving forward, I get to sit and observe- and do a few odds and ends- but basically I sit back and watch these pros do their thing! I haven't stopped grinning. Seeing my Steve Miller- the tough ex-LAPD cop and Mark Antonious Richfield, our gorgeous pretty star- well..what can I say? And did I mention Jack Larsen? He-man? A body like a greek god.

The amount of grunt work- time- and effort for so many people to do so many things is amazing to me-

so far- so good. we keep rolling along to our goal- a full length feature film- something everyone of us will be proud of.

Be safe out there.

Hollywood? No. Holly-Wouldn't

My journey into making a feature film- Part 3

For those of you following my progress regarding turning my novel CAPITAL GAMES into a film, here's more food for thought.

During the process of interviewing cast and crew- you learn a lot about people.
Though the experience has been very positive in so many regards, unfortunately ignorance and homophobia rears its ugly head here as in all aspects of life.

From my first location scout to a ranch in Roswell where the owners asked, (imagine a southern drawl) "Is this here a family film?" to which my producer quickly pointed to me to answer...err...no, it ain't. Unless you're an open-minded family and over 18.

But it ain't porn either!!!
You see, our genre has now been accepted in written form, but not yet in film. Is it reasonable to assume that since I am writing a bro-romance and producing it, that it suddenly becomes porn on film? NO!!

Okay, I'll let you in on a secret...I've watched gay porn. I know, you're all stunned.
Yes, it's amusing, even hot- for a minute. Then I yawn and turn it off.

It's a struggle for M/M authors to be classified if there is 'too much' sex in their novels. Are we erotic romance, or erotica? I come close to the line between.

But its about the story- not gratuitous sex.

Now here's the double standard- Tits. They are in every Hollywood film whether you think you will see them or not- Hollywood sneaks them in- for usually no other reason than to show them.

So if I show full frontal male nudity, (which will unfortunately drag the movie out of mainstream so why do it?) why is it porn? Holly-wouldn't show the precious male member. Oh heavens no. The men must be built like a Ken doll or covered. If so much as a peek of a dick shows up, everyone sits up at attention and screams. (or at least that's what they lead us to believe.)

Guess what boys and girls? Men have dicks. And quite frankly, I like them. They're amazing. And I know many men and women who like them too.

So finding young talent and crew who are open-minded and understand this is not PORN! but a full length story about love- yup- love- no labels, no gay, straight, bi....just love, then they get pumped and climb on board.

But oy! the knee jerk reactions have been all over the place, every step of the way (and this includes my leads since they are all straight-boys)
Why is creating a film about men falling in love so damn controversial?

Brokeback Mountain? Hello? It's been done before, and mostly in Europe and independent films, simply because, Holly-wouldn't.
They put out cliche crap and I can't even stomach the nonsense even when its shown for free on TV-
And inevitably even if they tout a film is for women- guess what? Tits. And no male sensuality.
Color me fed up.

Well- guess what? I am making a gay romance movie. So though Holly-wouldn't- couldn't never will. I can. And I am.

Will there be protests? Will it be called porn? Or will it be loved? No clue. But if you want the real deal, and crave like I do to see a good story, great actors, and men kiss, then you will get what you are hungry for.

Holly-wouldn't
Hauser-will!

Be safe out there.

Location, Location, Location!

If you are following this blog, particularly recently, you will be able to come with me on my journey into making a feature film.

Other than a great cast and crew, you need to have fabulous locations.
The book I have chosen for my first full length movie is Capital Games.
Through the course of this novel, the characters end up in New Mexico at a ranch retreat for a business training course.

New Mexico.

Ever been there?

Fabulous scenery. Albuquerque, Santa Fe- well, picture perfect.
The producer of this film locked down some spectacular locations indeed. But finding a gay friendly ranch was comical in itself. Let's just say there are areas in New Mexico (cough-Roswell-cough) that perhaps weren't as excited about doing an erotic bromance as we hoped. But we eventually found a spectacular spot, which fit the book perfectly, and the owners were tickled 'pink', and I mean that in both ways, that we were promoting same sex love on their gorgeous ranch.

Having our key location secured, we ran around looking for homes that fit the bill, including the ex-LAPD cop, Steve Miller's bachelor pad, and then of course, Mark and Jack's shared posh mansion.

As the author, who has written the book...walking into some of these homes and having that OMG moment, of 'This is it!' was great fun.

It was even more fun when a young man came in to read for Steve at his audition and I pointed to him and said, "You're Mark! Can you do a British accent?" To my joy, he did one very well indeed.

So? I suppose once you have found locations that are paradise, actors who are so gorgeous you don't want them to stop acting in front of you, and gay friendly environments who actually want you to use their homes and offices for the shoots, the project again begins to move forward.

How much work, money and effort does it go into making a full length feature film? Try doing one yourself and find out.

But hopefully if this continues to march ahead, we shall all see just how much of a success, (or not) this project is.

Be safe out there.

So, Ya Wanna Make a Movie?

There a sense of magic when a movie is being viewed. If it's a decent one, the viewer is transported into another dimension and we sit and enjoy an hour or two outside our heads and into the world of cinema.
Sound glamorous?

It does to many, including to me.

As an author I suppose it's not too far fetched to want your novels to be film. Many of us write for the screen, hoping our books will one day be 'picked up' by...hmmm whomever does the picking up, and presto! Our characters come to life.

When I began my writing career I was pure amateur, struggling without a mentor, trying, succeeding, failing, trying again. I learned how to write, publish, promote, edit, network, advertise, do research, all by myself. Wouldn't it have been great to have been the daughter of an author? No such luck.

Like many authors out there, and I really am speaking to the independents and not the few fortunate's' who have been 'picked out' either randomly or by nepotism to fame and fortune, we try for lofty goals. Do we succeed? I don't know. Many of us are still in the trying mode.

So, for myself, my fans, and my sanity, I am going to attempt to document my exploration of making a full length feature film. Myself. With the help of an incredible cast and crew. Oh, did I mention you need one of those?

Wow. Did I bite off more than I can chew? Who knew this process was quite literally, nail biting. By its very fragile nature, the whole project can just disintegrate and according to the experts who are guiding me, most do. Rarely does a concept find fruition to its completion. Really? I didn't know that either.

But the steps that are going into making a film have been like a roller-coaster ride and to be honest, fair rides terrify me or leave me spewing at the sidelines.

So, where did I begin? Well, finding capable people to actually be pumped about the idea. That was harder than you'd imagine. The lip service I got from 'the real deals' out there was laughable. More like 'I'll have my people call your people' and then they'd vanish. Too many to count. Let's just say, think flake and you'll find all the people who could have but never would have.

Then the book has to become a script. Hold on to your hats for that one authors because if you do not have control then you will ask the screenwriter, whose book did you read? Because it will not resemble your novel, at all. Luckily I can write those too. And did. (then had a real screen writer take it from there)

The process continued, and I am leaving out the sleepless nights, the rending of garments, purely for dramatic effect, because it was giving birth without the epidural.

Then something unbelievable happened.

Men came to auditions in LA to try to be my two leads. Mark Antonious Richfield, and Steven Jay Miller.

Mark and Steve in the flesh. Anyone who knows me and my Action! boys knows that was Mission Impossible. So again, no leads, no movie. But- when two men who fit the bill, sat in the same room and read to each other? I nearly passed out. There it was. Mark and Steve come to life speaking lines I had written. Could this film actually become a reality?

That question is yet to be answered, so stay tuned.

Be safe.

An Interview with Mark Antonious Richfield, (part 3)

Interview with Mark Antonious Richfield Part III

As the new release of Book 11 of the Action! Series draws nearer, I have persuaded the very busy Mark Antonious Richfield to sit for his third, and very much anticipated interview. Today we are at Mark’s home in Bel Air, where he lives with Steve Miller his husband and full time minder.

(Ouch! Mark just whacked me on the arm for that remark.)

We are in the living room on his cushy leather sofa, surrounded by photos of Mark as the top model for Dangereux Cologne, his beloved husbands number two and three, Jack Larsen and Adam Lewis, and of course, snapshots of Alexander, his now, Hollywood celebrity, son. When I get my first glance at this hunk he’s in his tight white slacks and a white, cotton shirt, opened at the neck. I sit down beside him on a leather couch and my hand already wants to wander to his knee. (not to mention, he smells so damn good!)

GA: Hi, Mark…here we are again.

Mark: Yes. This is becoming habit forming.

GA: You’re like heroin to many of your fans.

Mark: You really are a silly tart.

GA: They seem addicted to all things Mark Antonious. You think I’m kidding?

Mark: I’ve seen their naughtiness first hand. I tend to believe you.

GA: Okay, before I get lost on you…damn…love those pants.

Mark: My eyes are up here, Ms Hauser. You were saying?

GA: Right. I was saying. Um. (checks pad for question) This next novel, book 11 titled Bending the Rules…you reveal some very traumatic things about your childhood with your dad. Was it hard?

Mark: Yes. Excruciatingly. But bullying has now taken a front seat. I believe the more we share about our personal experience the better.

GA: Many young men who are in the closet, or even openly gay are harassed. Is that why you were so honest about your own experiences?

Mark: Oh, lovely, it’s not only gay men and women who are bullied. Bullies rear their ugliness every day. You see it yourself on social networks.

GA: I do. Many people are targets for mean people. But I want to talk about you. Mark, you shared a very personal story in Bending the Rules. I don’t know if the fans will be ready to hear it.

Mark: I do get that. Honestly. But when I traveled to Mum’s estate in Paradise, these issues were brought to the forefront. No one likes to discuss things that are very painful to themselves, but they have been brought up, nonetheless.

GA: What do you feel was the key in overcoming the painful childhood you endured?

Mark: I don’t know. I suspect having a strong support group. You know I’d be lost without my Steven. (Mark throws him a kiss.)

GA: (I just notice Steve Miller standing at the doorway of the kitchen drinking a beer out of the bottle.) So, Steve, Jack, and Adam? They got you through it?

Mark: It’s a personal journey. I suspect we all must find our own way. I am very fortunate to have three powerful men behind me. (He shoots a sexy smirk at Steven)

GA: Damn, you guys are so hot. Steve, you lucky fucker.

(Steve laughs)

Mark: I am. I won’t deny it. Though I may have gotten off to a rocky start as a young lad, I have nothing to complain about now.

Steve: But he still does.

GA: Besides the issues with your deceased dad, Mark, can you give any advice to growing old gracefully.

Mark: (frowns angrily) Oh, do shut up!

Steve: Uh oh. Don’t go there, GA.

GA: What? Look, Mark there are a lot of people out there getting older and--

Mark: (Makes a move to stand up)

Steve: Change the topic or he’s done.

GA: (quickly checks notes) Okay. Um, talk about Alexander. Your son.

Mark: (Mark resettles on the sofa, runs his hand through his long hair) Alex seems to be doing well. His show is still a huge hit on cable television and he and Billy seem to be in love.

GA: A twenty year difference between them? Come on. That’s a lot.

Mark: No one blinks when it’s a straight relationship, as long as the man is older.

GA: Hmm. They blink but it’s more common. So? You think they’re going to make it?

Mark: I had my doubts at first but they are doing all right. They are planning a New York wedding.

GA: Is that something we can look forward to in this novel?

Mark: No, my pet. They were too busy. Billy is being transferred out of SWAT and Alexander has a new storyline this season in his hit series Being Screwed.

GA: Anything you can divulge?

Mark: Not unless I want to get an earful from Charlotte Deavers, the director. So I am sworn to secrecy.

GA: I hear the new star is an androgynous hottie and is hot on his tight Richfield ass.

Mark: Well, you did not hear it from me.

GA: Mark, you continue to be the epitome of class and beauty. A standard so many of your fans look up to.

Mark: It’s a façade. You know it, and so do they.

GA: Nope. You are. No one cares about your faults. They love you to death.

Mark: (I finally coax a modest smile from the hunk.) I am flattered.

GA: So? Shall we tell your fans to hold onto their seats? That this chapter in your life will be angst filled? Kind of hard to deal with?

Mark: They know me by now, don’t they? When has anything ever come easy for me?

(Steve laughs)

Mark: Get your mind out of the gutter, copper.

Steve: Never.

Mark: Ms Hauser?

GA: Yes, Mark?

Mark: You do realize you have your hand on my thigh.

GA: Oh! Sorry. I keep doing that to you! (Fanning myself with my pad)

Mark: (Wags his finger) Naughty, naughty.

GA: (Clears throat) One last thing.

Mark: Yes?

GA: Any rumors about you two doing a film together? Inquiring minds want to know.

Mark: I know better than to let anything slip to you. You put everything Steven, Jackie, Adam, and Alexander and I do into your tell-all books. (Stands up)

GA: Holy crap.

Mark: Bloody hell, love, you act as if you’ve never seen a man in white trousers before.

GA: Nothing like you, Mark. Nothing like you. (tears my view away from his amazing body.)

Mark: You’re naughty. You and all your fans are voyeurs.

GA: Yup. When it comes to the Action! boys, we are.

Mark: Well, make sure you thank everyone for me. After all, where would all of us be, without your loyal fans? (reaches out his hand)

GA: (shakes hand) I don’t want to let go.

Mark: I’m afraid you can’t write on a keyboard without your hand.

GA: Nah, I can type with my left.

Steve laughs again.

Mark: Don’t encourage her bad behavior, Steven.

Steve: Me? (winks )

GA: Thanks, Mark. I hope your fans enjoy the next installment of your life.

Mark: I’m sure we’ll find that out shortly. Please let go of my hand now.

GA: Sorry. (blushes) Thanks again. Love you, Mark Antonious.

Mark: Love you too, GA

Speeding to the Next Red Light

Ambition. Goals. Milestones.

We enter this world already preparing for the finish line. It's like the gazelle on the Serengeti plain, hitting the ground running to avoid being some big cat's meal.

I've noticed many writers, who tend to be very goal oriented, begin to rush to the next achievement. Another book, a best seller, the most well written, highest reviews...all of the above.

Are we ever satisfied? In work or in life?
We keep running like a sprinter to the next finish line. I know I always have. 'What's next?' That's what I think. Where can I go next?
Challenging oneself is a good idea for the most part. It keeps us working, moving forward, and advancing, (hopefully) in our careers and personal lives. It's literally like a race to the finish. What can we accomplish in the tiny span we are on this planet called our lifetime?

Writers, artist, actors, and creative people in general, all have a certain type of personality that craves that next 'thing'. The new storyline, masterpiece, and big starring role. Perhaps its in the blood. There are heights out there that we want to experience before we're gone.

But it's like sitting in traffic and drag racing the cars around you, only to stop for the next red traffic signal. Basically it's going quickly to the next roadblock.

Not just in work and writing, but in life as well. We get through high school to graduate and then hit the job market, we hit the job market and want a raise, or a promotion. We go back for more education...
Or we get married, want kids, (or not) want a new car, a new house, more toys, gadgets...

We hit another roadblock...get ill, get fired, get into financial trouble, only to race out again to the next big obstacle.

By then we begin looking in our rear view mirror at where we've been and HOLY CRAP! where did the year go? Wasn't I just seventeen???

Goals. Even the country has them. Perhaps the world as well. Peace? Clean environment? End poverty? We as a human race (pun intended) keep running to the next achievement. Presumably trying to better ourselves in the process.

But as an author I certainly have high expectations of myself. To continue to do my best in my work, regardless of the critics, to expand my craft to plays, films, and every medium I can conquer in the time I have left, and of course, to make my mark somehow on someone to show 'Love is never wrong- no matter the form.'

Speeding to the next red light. We all seem to be doing it. Can we slow down? I have no idea. But as long as there is another carrot out there on a stick to grab, I have a feeling every author, artist, and ambitious individual will continue to put the peddle to the metal.

Just make sure you pull over to the side of the road once in a while to look out at the view, because time is a funny thing. You may race your life away and never stop to actually see the accomplishments you have already made. I hope in some small way I have given people enjoyment and a good laugh, perhaps a hard-on? But I too need to realize life is painfully short, and maybe we can stop speeding.

There's nothing worse than a speeding ticket.

Be safe out there.

WTF? Since When....?

Okay People- Time to hop on the soapbox for a scream.

Since when did a presidential election place so much weight on same sex marriage? Hang on. Don't yell yet. Think about it.

You know me- You know what I write- I have been battling for same sex-equal rights since I could raise a pen to paper. But what the heck is the rest of the country thinking? Making this 'the' hot issue in a race for the most powerful man in the world? Yes, it's unbelievable that our president is finally standing up for reason. Yes, it's amazing that the vice president has spoken strong words to get us all sensible and on target for civil rights and equality. But??? Has the media gone into a shark feeding frenzy about an issue that should be a no-brainer to every 'normal' (and I use 'normal' because so many aren't) thinking Americans? Why? Why is this war between marriage and no marriage so large? So unbelievably bloated it should be on the Biggest Loser?

I could go on and on about how straight marriage fails all the time. I could go on about how straight couples cheat, beat each other up, marry many wives (in some cultures, uh hum) yadda there. No point. Everyone knows that's not the issue. What is the issue? Will and Grace? Seriously? While a war is being raged in the Middle East, people are out of work, the economy is still struggling, children starve, working people are losing their homes and the rich get richer, we are using all our resources to fight an issue that should be a non-issue. Imagine this campaign hinging on whether Jews can marry non-Jews? Blacks could marry whites? Can you imagine John F Kennedy running on a campaign solely because of marriage rights?

I shake my head and sigh. All that time. All that money. All that effort to stop people from loving and exchanging vows. The twenty-four hour talking heads on the news station, screeching like nails on a black board about how same sex marriage will be the doom of society, our children...what?? I swear I need a Valium to even watch these pinheads.

EVOLVE PEOPLE!!! At one time we thought women shouldn't vote, remember? EVOLVE! At one time we thought black people shouldn't have the same rights as whites. EVOLVE! Stop making this an issue when it's not about you- it's about them. The men and women who fall in love. Since when do we judge our presidential candidates on issues of human rights....

Hang on. Maybe we do?? Maybe we should judge a candidate on whether they think all Americans should be treated equally. Maybe we should vote for a person who is EVOLVED enough to be open minded. Accept love. Time to move on. Time to do things that are essential again and just let people live their lives the way they choose.

I am at a loss as to how so many people think this is something to fight, like a plague. They are seriously misguided souls who need to look inward at their own relationships and self-worth.
Since when should we care if people have the same rights across the US? How about now?

Be safe out there.

As If It All Makes Sense...

As If It All Makes Sense....

When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, criticize you, remember they're telling you their story, not yours. (quote from Cynthia Coccelli) Someone recently posted this quote on FB. I had to admit it gave me pause. For so long I have been told I am a failure, and will always be a failure. That I will never achieve my goals and to give up. As a new author, nearly a decade ago, other authors were demeaning my work, belittling me, posting reviews that were more to do with criticizing me personally, than with my work, and hatred directed at me for my open-minded opinion on same sex marriage and love.

It was ironic to me that even after I left working for the police, I was more on the front lines than I was when sitting in a patrol car with a badge and gun. Who knew the world of authors and publishing could be so ugly?

I have seen critics and authors take down newbies with a swift kick to their crotch (be it a new novel or an idea for one). Yes, there are many good people, thank fuck, who do a lot for each other by promotion on their private blogs, and writing good reviews. This by no means is to be a brush painted for everyone's actions.

But the kind of people who do the above quote are still lingering out there. The pain they inflict is nothing short of exasperating. And now I know why. A light has turned on by the simple words of Cynthia Coccelli. They are telling their own story, not mine.

When someone asks me my advice for a new writer, or someone aspiring to do anything dream-worthy, I say, DON'T GIVE UP. If I had listened to the hate-mongers, the critics, the negative reviews and predictions for my career, I would not be where I am. Nearing 90 novels, not counting short stories and freebies.

At times I think some of us writers who place their work in the public eye become punching bags for either jealous peers, or people who simply don't get it. No there is nothing wrong with a review that points out weaknesses in a constructive way. But unfortunately it's much more fun to be nasty and just tear someone apart. To go out of one's way to locate your work and report it, ban it, or find fault for your own pleasure. Look, life is rough. Each of us goes through it over mine fields and pitfalls. No one has it easy around here, and if you do, it's because you're on good meds.

Over and over I try to get the message across to authors, readers and publishers, karma is a bitch, or an angel. Through the years I have given voice to unpublished authors in my work. Authors who want to write MM fiction and either can't be heard or break through the barrier. My latest unpublished author is Joey Jameson for his work Roll It, in Taking Ryan. But in the past I have given other authors their first chance; Edward Kendrick, Ryan St James, JC Szot, and these authors will help someone in turn.

Though it seems like a good way to live, to relate to other people in our business, in our lives, on FaceBook, Google, and everywhere there is a chance to either be nasty or be nice, remember when you bully someone anonymously or otherwise, perhaps it is your story you are telling, your anger with your own failure, your own laziness to keep trying.

Be careful out there.

The War on....Everyone

In an election year, more than any other, we are allowed to peek at the great divide in this country what separates the right from the left, and those of us that fall in between.
Watching the news, which I do less and less because of the idiocy, I hear the term 'war on'...someone. War on women. War on gays. War on Christmas...
Humans certainly have issues. And not only do we have them, we want everyone else to think just like we do- or else! So there's always some strange to and fro going on between extremes to pull the country apart and show us just how divided some of us really are.
Sometimes I watch in amazement, sometimes horror, but mostly, curiosity. How did we get to be so pig-headed about so many ideas? I suppose I am guilty as well. When I hear comments which are offensive to minorities, women, or gays, I go ballistic. Maybe I want my views of open-minded, live and let live, to be universal. I want people to stop hating each other for who they are, and to stop criticizing everything they disagree with.
Seriously people, get a life, okay?
There were some basic ideas I was taught as a kid; If you don't have something good to say, shut up. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And how about be kind rewind. (Okay, maybe not the last one).
My parents weren't rocket scientists, nor brain surgeons. But they managed to make me an independent thinker who is tolerant of those around me. I mean, those who are not angry-racist-homophobic-extremists.
Is it that difficult to accept other individuals who have different ideas of happiness? Really? That hard to just get on with your own life without taking a baseball bat to individuals who do not adhere to your own brain wave, and try and beat them to think like you do?
Do we really want to be surrounded by beige bland surroundings with no diversity, no color? Should we all eat white bread and toss out other food from cultures not like 'ours', whatever 'ours' is?

I do blame the mainstream media for pumping up this hate, this war...but they are just the mouth piece, not the sheep who follow.

I suppose greater minds than mine have stood on the soap box and pleaded for tolerance and sanity. So my little shout into the black hole will do nothing.
Before you hate. Before you criticize and spout poison, just think. How would you like someone to treat you?

That's all I'm saying. If you think what you do is good for others, take a dose of your own.
There doesn't need to be a war on women, gays, blacks...there just needs to be tolerance. If it isn't hurting anyone, and it happens to be different from you, that doesn't make it wrong.

Be safe out there.

The Test of Twins

Since PayPal's nonsense regarding pseudo-incest and incest, authors of erotica have to become slightly skittish in what they write. I don't write any of the topics PayPal considered banning, but believe me, I was FURIOUS they even thought they had a say in what authors wrote.
Since Mark Coker of Smashwords' valiant battle, and how many hundreds or thousands of angry PayPal users pulled their money, myself included, from PayPal's site, PayPal has re-visited it's absurd decision and now is only going to ban photo books which depict child porn and whatever else they feel is too taboo for sensible humans to make choices in purchasing.
So, how will authors respond to the 'promise' of PayPal to not pick on indie authors? Well, it's a bit scary out there.
I wrote The Last Hard Man before the controversy and now, don't know what to do with it.
The irony is, the demand for stories about twins is great. Two men together. Is that incest? Not in my book. Incest laws are written to prevent conceiving abnormal children. Two men or two women cannot have a kid, so? No harm no fowl?
Of course this depends upon one's sensibilities and the very idea of male twins touching each other could be seen as gag worthy. As I suppose so are gay men and women touching to some. After all, we all know same sex couples bring out the worst in homophobia.
As readers and writers we have the right to write what we like. (say that ten times fast!)
How many fans have asked me to write twincest? Many!! How well will this book sell when it is released next month? Great! I know it's what readers want to read. Hot steamy taboo twincest. Do I write about incest often? No. Will this be my last book on twincest? Yes, indeed.
Dare I tempt the powers that ban to censor my book? They have censored so many covers previously, I expect they will fuss about this one. So, I am going to offer it as an exclusive release only available on Rainbow ebooks. They have never been effected or influenced by PayPal's absurdity. If I can be reassured that this book will not become a bane in my ass! then it will hit Kindle and ARe and Bookstrand. But unfortunately when an independent author is threatened by 'big money', we do stay cautious.
But for those of you who crave lovely twins sharing a man, The Last Hard Man will not disappoint. Please give your business to Rainbow ebooks, because they did not cave, nor did they take down indie authors or books.
The Last Hard Man- out mid April...

Be safe out there.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Did we win a small victory against PayPal and censorship? Possibly- though announcements have been made stating PayPal has decided that perhaps they overstepped their mark by banning books, I'll believe it when I see it- Supposedly only 'pictures and images' of illegal activity will be banned- still not sure where my opinion lies in all of this. Child porn- No- No way- but once again with some of the other 'taboos' there are gray areas.
My question is, where do we go from here?
I have always complained about how women do not have the same access to seeing male nudes as men have to viewing female nudes. Just look at the magazine racks if you think I'm kidding. And straight women, to see men naked, usually turn to gay media.
I won't go on about the double standard of objectifying either sex- anyone who reads my blogs knows I hate the inequity of it, so why go on? Kind of like pissing in the wind. Useless and my leg will get wet.
But- okay, so say we have our small victory and we can still 'read' what we want. But where does a straight woman go to 'see' what she wants?
Gay blogs. Blogs run by manlove authors.
Nope, sorry, not enough.
I want to see more availability of male nudes. Facebook takes down even the slightest inkling of male sexuality. I think one person objecting to a pretty boy pic, hits report, and FB doesn't ask why. They just delete the post and punish the poster. So that's not an option.
Google plus? Perhaps. Though more times than not the pictures of nude men come through censored with black boxes and dashes through it.
Tumblr is the last bastion on the social scene for male nudes. Pretty much, that's it.
So other than gay porn sites, which, leave much to be desired, where do us straight women go for an ogle?
I suppose straight women and gay men need to stick together. We seem to have that in common. We know the male body is a thing of beauty. Just ask Michelangelo.
Where do we go from here? We share blogs, we set up secret groups, we buy gay magazines and DVDs. It's a crazy world when a woman has to go underground to see a beautiful naked man. But it'll get worse before it gets better, if the coming election is any sign.
Keep fighting for your right to read what you want, write what you want, and enjoy the male nude when you want.
Rights are a funny thing. It seems the more you fight for them, the harder they are to win.
Be safe out there.

Banned!!! Censorship strikes again!

Here we go again.
Look back on my blogs and see how many times I have written about censorship. I am at a loss on how this continues to be a problem and no one seems to care or notice.
Free Speech? We save that for the hate-mongers, the religious extremists, and the campaigns against civil and human rights.
But between the war the GOP has waged against gays, women, and the poor, and this new concept of 'money able to ban books' campaign, I am exhausted.
PayPal, now that it has a stronghold on the money market, like any good Capitalist venture, has gotten into the business of book banning. If they don't like what a distributor is selling they simply pull out and lock their accounts up. Basically, putting them out of business. So, money is now creating a book ban. And mind you, a ban only on what they deem is sexually 'offensive'. Again, violence is okay. You can cut and slash and rape to your hearts' content, but don't do anything risque sexually.
History is repeating itself. Didn't we once ban Mark Twain?
Facebook has once again taken down a photo of a cover design I have. Taking Ryan shows a back view of a young man's bottom. So now young men's bottoms are offensive. There is no rhyme or reason to the discrimination, only consistency.
This pressure from PayPal will create a hole in the market eventually. Soon all the distributors will be terrified to carry sexy books because PayPal will not allow it. So the books will have to go 'underground' and be sold by independent distributors who are not under the pressure of big business, or simply the books will not be sold, full stop.
But it won't just be 'risque' books. Soon it will be BDSM, or menage. Or perhaps eventually gay and lesbian books will be considered too unsavory, and they too will be banned.
This is a slippery slope to slide, and I am more than a little surprised the silent majority, who ask for this type of fantasy fiction is staying silent.

The more we allow money and religious zealots to run our world, the farther back we will go into the dark ages. If it were up to some, women would be property and have no rights, same sex couples would be in therapy or jail, and the 1% would rule the world and everyone else would be their unpaid servants.
Sound impossible? I'm not sure. I didn't think a bank type industry could ban books, but look at PayPal. They are.

Speak out. Don't let the right to read what you want, buy what you want and writers, write what you want, be dictated by big business and extremists.

Be safe out there.

Reasons To Fight

In the news I heard something good for a change. Prop 8 in California was deemed unconstitutional. Good. That should settle it.
But no- it hasn't.
There are individuals who want to 'fight' this ruling.
Okay...inhale-exhale don't scream. I ask myself daily what are the reasons for their fight. Since I write about same sex love, the absurdity of this crusade against love and marriage has me more than puzzled. It has me furious.
When I look around the world via every media outlet you can imagine, I see so many wrongs that need to be righted. Serious problems that could really use some help. Being an animal advocate I would love to see the venomously rabid anti-gay marriage dipshits, go all out to save endangered species and habitat. Or how about being an activist for human rights in countries where people are being murdered by insane dictators. Or perhaps we should feed hungry children, give money to AIDS and cancer research, wave signs and banners to stop victims of domestic violence or gang violence.
Maybe the cash that continues to flow into the coffers of anti-same sex marriage funds could be better used to rebuild homes of disaster victims, aid the Red Cross or perhaps some of their effort and illogical screaming and stomping would be better served to help clean up the air, water, litter...good Lord, people- I would rather see them on the side of the road with litter bags picking up trash. At least that's productive and helpful.

These anti-marriage activists make the occupy anarchists seem intelligent by comparison. At least the anarchists don't want to restrict civil rights. Human rights. Basic rights.

Really? All that time, money and effort can't be better spent? All the energy and ranting about love and marriage can't be redirected to something that actually will improve the quality of life?

We must have a logical reason to fight. A reason that is not religion bound. Religion based decisions go against basic rights. Don't get me going on the religious extremists in this world. I'll become Lewis Black and my head would explode. But if you need to invent reasons that are purely self-serving in your pseudo-pious mind, invent reasons to give to people who are in need. To fight for animal rights, to clean up a community.
Stop wasting so much of everyone's time, resources and energy to restrict love.
You will not prevent people from loving each other, living together, or sharing their property with each other.
All you will do is show how ignorant and intolerant you are.

Get off the hate bandwagon and stop hiding behind religion for your rationality.
Let everyone have the right to be happy.
Talk about insane? Since when are straight people the role model for marriage? The irony there isn't lost on anyone. And now there's a fight for legalized polygamy?

You want to give me a reason to fight? Keep trying to stop love between two men or two women. That alone gives me reasons to fight.

Be safe out there.

The Sequel to The Sequel- Stay tuned.

Eighty books.
I have passed the eighty book count and with the idea of writing a dozen novels per year in mind, I will close in on one hundred by December 2012. My oh my.
I know a few fellow authors who are churning out the novels like I am, keeping quality high, Stormy Glenn, Lynn Hagen, to name two. And I'm sure other authors are now aspiring to do the same, realizing their fan base is growing and they are flowing with creative juices. Patricia Logan now has that goal in mind. One a month. It's lofty, but worth the effort.
Of course with the large production of novels comes choices. Single titles or series? Trilogy or two book sequels?
Luckily my style of writing has created a universe of men who come and go with ease in and out of each of my novels. Anyone who is a fan and has read a handful of my work can recognize that- well, if you need a lawyer in LA, you call Jack Larsen or Colt St John. Need a tattoo? No need to look further than Dirty Harry's tattoo shop.
As I create a world where my characters thrive and become community members, sequels bring to life characters from books you may have read a while back.
Suddenly you see a familiar name or description and think, where do I know this guy from?
It's the fun of discovering that individual and where you first found them. Kind of like a memory test or puzzle.
The Last Hard Man- which I am now in the process of writing, has Sam Lockwood. Sam has been in Down and Dirty, as well as Going Wild. He was Alexander Richfield's wild biker fuck, and of course the extra man who played the fourth when the Callahan brothers got down and dirty with Jean DuLac.
Who else will you recognized in The Last Hard Man? Remember Lion? Our Dom from Born to Please? Yes, he makes a guest appearance, as does the ever uptight Tony Spagna from Leather Boys and Got Men?
Can I just say writing like this, making the novels an alternate reality, is fun. Damn good fun.
When people wonder how I can write so much, I think, easy. Look at all the men there are in my world. Never ending. And to top that off, my fans ask for characters to be featured in their own books.
Midnight in London has the brilliant Ted Mack who we know from Lancelot in Love. Don't forget Brandon Kennedy, from Happy Endings. So many fans knew something felt mysterious about Brandon in that book, they asked me what the deal was with him. Of course Living Dangerously is Brandon's story.
Sequel, Spin-off, Series?
I have no idea what to call it.
But this year, as I close in on ninety novels in my collection, expect to see my Vampire Daniel Wolf and his hot Man-eater, Brock Hart, reappear...as vamps this time. And who knows who's next? Perhaps Andy Gore, the savvy hot shot lawyer from The Crush will be the next star.
If you want stories about men you know and grow fond of, look no further. This year will be very exciting for my fans.
And of course, expect book 11 from the Action Boys- coming by summer time.

Be safe out there.